Several months back, a loyal Friend, the "building up of others" kind, very lovingly and wisely counseled me to clear the air with another friend. She gently but directly pointed out an infraction - moreover, the kind we all hate - the passive-aggressive kind (ugh) - which I was guilty of towards said other friend. Honestly, my first instinct was to feel defensive. I wanted to explain or justify myself. But I knew Friend's no-nonsense advice was right. Taking her Truth to heart, and recalling my 2015 resolutions (which, ever well-intending but not-so-at-executing, need to be kept more … [Read more...]
What a Real Boss Lady Taught Me About Motherhood
It sucks to hear girlfriends, from a variety of professions and industries, complain that their female bosses are "the worst." Difficult. Petty. Insecure. Competitive with, or threatened by, other female colleagues and subordinates. Building a bad workplace dynamic among women just seems so counter-intuitive. Thankfully, I’m reminded of a bad*ss boss lady from my past life as an attorney who showed me that there are good, strong, wise she-bosses out there. Before I became a SAHM (stay-at-home mom), or let's be honest, a CAHM (cray-at-home-mom), I worked at three mid- to large-sized law … [Read more...]
Ode to the Dads In My Life: Happy Father’s Day
As Father's Day comes to a close, I just can't let it end without thanking the 3 "dads" in my life who've taught me more than I could ever say. First, my heavenly Father. Even if I had not been blessed with a good earthly dad, I would still have had the perfect parent in You. My God and my Creator, You've loved me even before I was. You chose me, knowing all the while the countless ways I'd disappoint, disobey or fail You. You've loved me unconditionally through rebellion, selfishness, pride, sin, lack of remorse or contrition. When I wouldn't give You a second of my time or a fleeting … [Read more...]
I Don’t Want My Kids To Be Happy
"I just want my kid(s) to be happy." "Ultimately, we just want them to be happy." "As long as he/she grows up to be happy, I'm good." I hear this kind of talk among parents all the time. And I've said it on occasion too. But after further thought, I've decided that no, actually, I don't want my kids to be happy, at least not all the time. Before you condemn me for being the worst mom (which may still be true, for any number of other reasons), let me explain. At ten, my eldest pretty much has the emotional immaturity and volatility of a boy his age (or occasionally, half his age). At the same … [Read more...]
Evolution of Love: Addendum
I just had to share this. For those of you who followed my 3-part "Evolution of Love" series, you know our marriage had its share of ups and downs and is in large part a survival and renewal story. Well, earlier this evening, DH's heart and mine were deeply moved as our two eldest performed this beautiful voice/piano duet of our wedding (first dance) song, Ella Fitzgerald's "The Very Thought of You", at the school talent show, just days after our wedding anniversary. What a precious reminder of one of the most joyful days of our lives, and a reminder of the fruits of our love and commitment. … [Read more...]
The Undistracted Life. (Simplify and Do Life Better, Part 2)
So I mentioned how everything seems to be telling me I need to slooow down, simplify, and do less (or do life) better, right? Well, the most radical warning hit me a week ago Sunday as I sat in church listening to a most timely (uncanny) sermon that had to have been written just for me. I almost avoided eye contact with our pastor lest he realize I was the very one for whom God led him to preach that message. The bible story, Luke 10:38-42, tells of a time Jesus and his followers stop at the home of two sisters, Mary and Martha. During his brief visit, Mary sits closely so she can listen … [Read more...]
Simplify and Do Life Better, Part 1
You know when you think you're pretty friggin' awesome at something, but then life kicks your overinflated @ss a couple times (maybe more, if you're a little "slow" like me) and you suddenly realize, “Crap. I kinda suck at that, actually"? Well. Seems I've been deluding myself for some time into thinking I gots me some mad multi-tasking skills. For years now I've put up a pretty good front that I can "do it all", and do it all well. Like some of you perhaps, I have a tough time saying “no” when asked to do, help with or be part of something, either because of she-guilt or because I hate … [Read more...]
Happy Mother’s Day to the Motley Crew of Us
This morning, I read the most beautiful Mother's Day article written by Melanie Durfee Picket. She recently posed two questions on her Facebook: "What is the best part of being a mother? And what is the hardest part?" Melanie got a flood of touching, awing and eye-opening responses, which she shares in her post. Read them, and share your own with me in the comments below. Melanie also spells out very eloquently what it means to be a mother. But what moved me most, which she's graciously allowed me to share here, was her shout-out to the whole motley crew of us moms. She dedicates her … [Read more...]