A few days ago I saw a Facebook friend, who said to me, “Anita, you really know how to live. It’s good…‘cause most moms are so tied up with kids and work or housework and everything else, they have no lives of their own.” I immediately felt guilty, or ashamed. Shoot. Am I one of those people? Do I make my life look easy, happy and fun? Or worse -- make others feel their lives are so not? If so, I must confess – It’s A Lie. I’m just guilty of selectively posting the “best of” takes and capturing quickly fleeting treasured moments on camera. And I post often to simplify. How so? I’m not … [Read more...]
“The Fat Kid” In All Of Us: Self-Esteem and Identity, Part 1
I have these regrettable memories of a tubby, ostracized classmate of mine from 2nd or 3rd grade. Charles was a fairly good-natured boy who, unlike the other kids, was heavy, clumsy and wore tacky cowboy boots every day. But like every other kid, Charles just wanted, no - needed, friends to play with. Instead, we were cruel to "the fat kid." We'd run away from him when he came near. We'd kick him from behind, unprovoked. And on the rare days we were generous enough to let him join in our play, we'd give him the unwanted role - always "it," the chaser. I don’t recall us ever allowing him the … [Read more...]
House Hunting & Keeping Up With Them Joneses
Lost wedding bands. Fortune cookie fortunes. Schools. House hunting. Personal destinies. Faith. Contentment. These were what occupied my mind all yesterday morning. Summer's over and our eldest is starting his last year of elementary school. This year will be a big one for Son, and for DH and me too. It marks the end of a significant stage of Son’s life, and of ours. While we've loved our home of ten years (the first of our own and the only one our three kids have ever known), the neighborhood, the kids' elementary school, the weather, and the friends we've made and life we've built here, … [Read more...]
What a Real Boss Lady Taught Me About Motherhood
It sucks to hear girlfriends, from a variety of professions and industries, complain that their female bosses are "the worst." Difficult. Petty. Insecure. Competitive with, or threatened by, other female colleagues and subordinates. Building a bad workplace dynamic among women just seems so counter-intuitive. Thankfully, I’m reminded of a bad*ss boss lady from my past life as an attorney who showed me that there are good, strong, wise she-bosses out there. Before I became a SAHM (stay-at-home mom), or let's be honest, a CAHM (cray-at-home-mom), I worked at three mid- to large-sized law … [Read more...]
Serve the Less Fortunate and You’ll Be All the Richer.
I met someone the world has forsaken today, and it made my life all the richer. I thought I had something to offer her but it turned out she had so much more to offer me. Two Saturdays a month, our church provides lunch to the local homeless and migrant workers. Today was our small group's turn to prepare, serve and share the meal. Confession. While, in theory, I support this charitable service and believe in teaching our kids firsthand to serve and appreciate everything we have, in practice, the Saturdays we're to help always feel like the busiest, most inconvenient, already overbooked … [Read more...]