On crap days like today, when I feel all knotted up inside ‘cause there’s so much to do, I couldn’t get jack done, I flaked on people and commitments and neglected my kids and DH, I’ll sometimes collapse in bed, heavy with worry and every guilt you could name: woman guilt, friend guilt, wife guilt, that infamous “mommy guilt,” and even Christian guilt – for not then trusting Jesus, who said,
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
(2 Corinthians 12:9)
For me, 90% of the time, surrendering it all in prayer relieves even the most seemingly insurmountable stress, fear or discouragement. The other 10% I still lack a measure of peace. Of course, even with that 10%, it’s likely that I haven’t truly surrendered it all to God; deep down I’m hanging on to some unattainable, self-defeating and artificial need for control, to solve a problem all by my lonesome. Unless and until I kick that last bit of “hanging on,” I screw myself over. I know this in my head. And yet. It’s a struggle.
What I do hope to hang on to, every day and with matters big and small, is the truth,
For nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:38)
What’s more, I want to hold Jesus to, and claim with confidence, his promise, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.
Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)
Nothing. Nothing is impossible. Nothing is impossible with God. Nothing is impossible for me.
Surely, the To-Do’s we worry ourselves over are trivia next to the feat of moving a mountain.
As I lay myself down tonight, I’m not gonna count sheep in my head. I’m gonna move mountains, one after another. The One who can’t lie said we can.
So. One mountain…two mountains…three mountains…