That was my Instagram post of yesterday morn. Now I realize I’m five days late in making a New Year’s Resolution but the issue isn’t really my tardiness; it’s that I’d attempt to make a resolution — what’s more, two resolutions — at all. For I’ll be the first to admit: I often have the best of intentions but lack the consistency to bring them to fruition (or completion). And it’s partly because I lack the will power, partly because I’m forgetful and distractible as all get out, and partly because I keep/make my days so filled and all over the place that it’s hard to commit to do any one thing every single day.
The fact that I started a blog a few months back and am still writing today is a miracle. If writing was going to happen at all, I had to just do it already. So I launched www.anitacatchmybreath.com without sufficient planning or familiarity with WordPress (my publishing platform) or the blogging world. It was only after I launched my blog that I thought to approach a tech-savvy friend to teach me the basics of navigating WordPress, to ask a talented photographer friend (www.lilychanphotography.com) for advice and a banner for the site, to read a book about creating a website, and to check out and start following other awesome-r bloggers (*listed at the bottom of this post). I still don’t really know what I’m doing (hence, the stark, simple and unimpressive appearance of my website). But I’ll just have to learn as I go so as not to stop the momentum.
Anyways, back to New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t make them. Because I’ve never, ever, ever, ever been able to stick with them for longer than a month or two (sometimes only a week). A few that I can recall are:
- I will eat healthier;
- I will not shop (for clothing/shoes) this entire year;
- I will run at least 4 times a week;
- I will read the Bible cover to cover;
- I will throw out/donate one article of clothing for each new one I purchase; and
- I will stop raising my voice at the kids, being sarcastic with them, and saying things like “Just kill me now.”
But yesterday, for some odd reason, I woke up feeling inspired, hopeful and menstrual (the last thing unrelated, I think, and TMI, I’m sure). So I decided that this year, it’s gonna be all about “NO FEAR” and “MORE LOVE”. Now my resolutions may sound totally cliché and perhaps a bit vague, but I have a plan and so long as I persevere, I’m allowing “no fear” and “more love” to come in any number of forms. Any act of courage or love on my part won’t just happen by itself. I’ll have to make a mindful decision, each day of 2015, to do at least one thing (big or small) that I’m afraid of, that makes me nervous or timid, that may quash my pride, or where I can’t be assured of the outcome (e.g., obeying my conscience or God’s clear command; taking a risk; admitting fault/apologizing; trying something new or that I’m bad at; confronting an offender openly rather than avoiding, gossiping or retaliating; doing the right thing, however unpopular or embarrassing; speaking up for my beliefs; defending one who can’t defend herself), and at least one thing (big or small) that shows love, patience, kindness, compassion, grace or mercy in one way or another (e.g., helping a neighbor, stranger or someone in need; letting someone else go or choose first; turning my cheek or even better, saying a kind word in the face of meanness; giving tenderness and affection (rather than a harsh scolding) when my child misbehaves; forgiving an offender, regardless of whether an apology was offered; expressing thanks). But I’m allowing myself some grace too. Because I’m human, or worse – because I’m Anita, I may turn around and screw up the very next thing I say or do, but I figure, at least it’s a start to refining my mind, perspective, conduct and relationships, little by little, day by day, in a good way.
For accountability, I will try to post, before going to bed each night, on Instagram (anitacatchmybreath) and, starting on January 22, on a public Facebook page (anitacatchmybreath) my “NO FEAR” and “MORE LOVE” efforts of the day under the hashtags #nofearinaction and #moreloveinaction. I have to say, I’m pretty excited (and nervous) to see what this endeavor reaps in my life and those around me! And friends, if you have any desire to, please join me in this endeavor (even if you can only participate on a day-to-day basis). Just share, using the same hashtags (#nofearinaction and #moreloveinaction) your own acts of courage or love on my Instagram or Facebook and you can be assured I’ll be cheering you on too and praying over you and our joint efforts. Something awesome will come of this. I promise.