Perfection, Worry and Guilt Aren't On the Calendar

On crap days like today, when I feel all knotted up inside ‘cause there’s so much to do, I couldn’t get jack done, I flaked on people and commitments and neglected my kids and DH, I’ll sometimes collapse in bed, heavy with worry and every guilt you could name: woman guilt, friend guilt, wife guilt, that infamous “mommy guilt,” and even Christian guilt – for not then trusting Jesus, who said,

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
(2 Corinthians 12:9)

For me, 90% of the time, surrendering it all in prayer relieves even the most seemingly insurmountable stress, fear or discouragement. The other 10% I still lack a measure of peace. Of course, even with that 10%, it’s likely that I haven’t truly surrendered it all to God; deep down I’m hanging on to some unattainable, self-defeating and artificial need for control, to solve a problem all by my lonesome. Unless and until I kick that last bit of “hanging on,” I screw myself over. I know this in my head. And yet. It’s a struggle.

What I do hope to hang on to, every day and with matters big and small, is the truth,

For nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:38)

What’s more, I want to hold Jesus to, and claim with confidence, his promise, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.